My apology for not caring about the Olympics

OK first I want to apologise for writing this letter in blood. The thing is that I started and then half way through someone told me I was supposed to use my own blood and then I decided it would look weird to have a letter half in blood and half in ink, so blood letter it is. If you’re wondering whose blood this is, even I don’t know. I’ve been trapping mosquitoes and squeezing the blood out of them in a jar for more than twenty years now. That jar has been slowly becoming more and more full and was finally at verbose letter writing capacity. Hence I have decided to do this, I apologise for the smell and more than anything-

I apologise for not caring about the Olympics. The Olympics are a great meeting of prolific athletes from around the globe. A competition of non professionals to take athletic achievement to new heights and foster healthy competition between the nations of the world. I’m sorry I don’t care about them. I am not about to make any excuses for my opinions, all I ask for is your understanding and your patience while I try to change and be more like you, citizen of the world.

The truth is that I hate athletic people. I am and have always been wary of people who display any sort of sporting ability. This goes back to my days at school where we exalted the sports player, while dismissing the intellectual. The winning muscular athlete stood proud at the top of the social pyramid, while the genius who expanded his mind was forced to struggle through the strata of school society. I’m not trying to say that I was the intellectual, but I used to look at that guy every day and feel bad for him. It was in school that I decided to never support any sporting venture. Was this jealously? Almost definitely. But at the time I didn’t know that jealousy was a bad reason to do anything.

Our government does not support athletics as much as they need to. If the poor and toilet less could be trained to leap or vault over their problems then I would say shame on you government, for not supporting the athletes and unleash the mosquitoes that I have been farming to bring me blood for many years. Under my care I have created a super breed, with almost twice the carrying capacity of regular mosquitoes. They do not tire, they do not complain and they follow all my instructions, that’s why when I write letters with blood I can take so long to get to the point.

A lot of people will say that the allocation of government funds does not need to be this or that. The funds not given to sports are not given to the welfare of the people, they end up simply vanishing. And this is terrible. It is terrible that corruption is robbing the public of funds intended to improve their lives. I agree with this whole heartedly. Just because the government pumps more money into athletics does not mean that it has any less ability to fix the other problems of our country. They could easily support athletics more.

It’s just…it’s so stupid. Why would you pole vault over something? I don’t get it. If we go and win every medal one year at the Olympics, it’s not like we’re all going to get super laid and invited to all the cool parties. If that was the case, I would be all for supporting the athletes. But the truth is that instead of winning internationally, why not just conquer domestically? Forego a bronze medal at the Olympics for a platinum medal in india. I know that’s not a thing in itself, but can be.

The only way out of this that I see is if we somehow make public welfare a competitive sport. First world countries are not allowed to compete and must watch sadly from the sidelines. On top of that their seats are mouldy and rotten (the winner of the competition will get to that as soon as they win). Each competing country gets parameters to improve in their state in four years. The entire country participates in the venture and if we win, everyone gets medals. A giant podium is to be constructed onto which the entire population of a country can climb on first, second or third place. It’s an idea. I’m almost running out of blood. Let me wrap this up.

I know it’s cowardly to not even compete and every individual has their own dreams. Why should we stymie their dreams of athletic success just because we carry apathy towards their achievements. Why not? I propose an alternative.

I think the real way towards change is from the ground up. Start in schools. Have a program in every school in every town and every city. Inform the teachers and inform the students how important this is. Be mean to athletes. Only when sporting ability and athletic success is a subject of derision and provides no social leg up, will this sport truly be accepted by everyone. When the captain of the football team is jeered at for his magnificent abdominal muscles, only then can we have real order and real peace. I’m not saying we need to cheer the intellectually gifted either, what’s so great about them?

No, we need to cheer those who have found real and true balance. Who know neither the burning of sinews or the eureka of understanding. Who watch the world and live life as a lazy afternoon. The true champions, not of any event in particular, but of life itself.

I guess this is really about me. Out of blood. Bye!

3 thoughts on “My apology for not caring about the Olympics

  1. Dear Kanan

    Apologies for this comment, but please apologize for this apology. The letter is not apology worthy, hence it calls for an apology as redemption for inflicting this apology upon us.
    Again, I apologize.

    Yours Truly


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